We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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