Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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