"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize