No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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