You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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