what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
