I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
