What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize