Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
