Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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