Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
