Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
