Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
