ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
