is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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