I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
