This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
