took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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