the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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