Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
