I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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