32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
