so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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