i permit you to call me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
