Don't you send me to vm
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize