Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
