Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize