He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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