Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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