it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
