She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
