Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Boobs are out for the taking
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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