I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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