She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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