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dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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