Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You're like the curious george of whores
I want to be your penis for a week.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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