so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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