When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
