super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
