I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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