I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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