so that wasnt chicken after all
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
