you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
