is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
