So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
