summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
