That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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