I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
