The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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