weddingsv make me drug and hornr
her vagine was all disorganized.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
my poor anus
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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