So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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