Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
