Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Green mimosas i think yes
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
