i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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