dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
