What tipped you off? The sombrero?
a search helicopter?!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
