just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
