new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
