I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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